Nothing I say is important. However I will write so I'm not as stressed. Nightmares keep coming and getting worse. I still have horrible visions of this guy in a bear outfit trying to get me and a patient (in my dream I'm a nurse.) How can I get them to stop? I feel like it's just going to get worse and worse as my stress keeps piling and piling. I want to live for myself and do things in life without feeling guilty for once.
Every moment of almost everyday is filled with stress. I'm always worrying about what my mother thinks or what God wants me to do. Which don't get me wrong, I don't do enough for God. I wish I could live a better lifestyle, not hate and I wish I could get rid of these bad thoughts. I feel as though I'm never going to be able to achieve my goals, but I keep going for them anyway. I'm so afraid of the future. I just want a job and my own place to live with my boyfriend, he's the only one I feel can make me happy right now. The only one who actually makes me laugh besides my step Granny. These are the best two people in my life who I feel like actually care about me.
All I can do is pray like I always do and hope that God keeps them in my life forever or for just a little bit longer. All I can do. I can do that and just keep trying to make Adam happy like he does for me, which isn't that hard because he is such a good guy and I love him so much.
That's my rant for the night. Guess I know what's important in life for me. I can just ask one more thing; if you have someone in your life that you love, or loved, make sure they know and give them a big hug. If you stopped talking to them; go find them or talk to them because they may need you in their life at the moment. Or it maybe too late to say that and you'll regret not doing it.
Hope:Faith:Pray:Love:Laughter:Gummy Bears:Family:Gummy Bears <-Pretty much everything you need in life right there, well the important things anyway. Because in all honesty, money is just paper, gold is just shiny, friends can be fake but true happiness is the little things in life and who is actually there for you in the long run :) Think about it and you can quote me, Miss Tara Lee on that!
Love,
Tara Lee
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